The Ring

[[Special thanks to my dear friend Sarah who helped me to realize that I'm okay in real life and not "so much better as a blog"]]

There are moments in life that we all look forward to. As kids we itch with anticipation if we have just a little money to spend or we count days until our birthday or Christmas. Then we get older and get excited about driving or getting a job or graduating. For a girl, though, there's one dream that she hangs on to from the time she's very small. Every girl, at some point in her life, thinks of her Prince Charming.

Unfortunately, a lot of girls think that once she finally has her man, life will be perfect. But there's enough people out there talking about that problem. I, for one, have seen a slightly different problem. Even girls who are completely aware that life will still have ups AND downs seem to want a lover too desperately.

Why?

I think I figured it out because I started feeling the same way. My thoughts one day were along these lines: "I know that life won't be perfect when I'm married. It might even be more difficult. But I Must. Get. Married!" As soon as I had the thought, I wondered why I felt that way. I have the most incredible life ever! I have been blessed with so many friends around the country, so many opportunities to do things that I might not be able to do if I had a husband.

As happy as I am with my life, why did I feel like I needed to change it?

Change. That's the key word. See, so many people that I know (including myself) are constantly trying to change themselves to fit in better with their friends, family, church, and/or coworkers. We have so many people that love us, but we second guess ourselves and think, "They only tolerate me. I need to ________ if I want to keep their friendship." We're haunted by the fact that people can just walk away without thinking about it when it would leave us devastated. Especially when it has happened before, the fear that it could happen again makes us sick.

That's why, in my mind, I needed a guy to marry me. Because some day he would get down on one knee and tell me that I was good enough just the way I was. Because he would put a ring on my finger that said to the world, "flaws and all, I want to share the rest of my existence with this woman."

I don't need that, though! I'm not saying that I don't ever want to get married. I'm just saying that I don't have to have a ring on my finger to prove anything to myself or to anyone else. I don't choose to spend a lot of time with people I don't like, so why would anyone else do that? If the people who spend time with me are at all like me, then the very fact that they choose to put up with me means that they care about me.

So the ring? Yeah, it'll be cool to have one some day. And it'll be nice to show the world that some guy loves me enough to claim me as his own. But until then? I'm just me, and even if I have room to grow, I'm blessed with many friends who think that I'm "good enough" the way I am.