This My Song

1. There are four words that I use a lot when I pray. "If it's your will." Most of the time I'm content to leave things with God. I tell Him my perspective and my heart desires but leave it to Him, the Master Author, to shape the best plot. I know that my point of view is limited and I can see in my imagination all the ways that a different outcome could be beneficial.

Until this week. This week I wanted my way. I felt that God was causing suffering needlessly in people that I care about. I asked Him why He wasn't listening. And then it struck me. Who was it that wasn't listening?

I sat down and shut up. And then I heard Him. His promise to complete the work He begins in every heart that belongs to Him. The story will look different for everyone. Some people will have to suffer. Others will have to watch. Each of us is a paragraph in the story of God and what author is going to write the same thing twice? 

So I'm waiting on God's timing as He puts the punctuation in my paragraph that will bring me closer to being a completed work. And I wait for Him to put the final touch, that last period, on someone else's story. Someday I know that all of us will share the final chapter, perfect at last and with so many backstories to the same beautiful end with no end. Our song through those endless ages? "Jesus led us all the way."

1. 
   
2. All the way my Savior leads me,
   What have I to ask beside?
   Can I doubt His tender mercy,
   Who through life has been my Guide?
   Heav’nly peace, divinest comfort,
   Here by faith in Him to dwell!
   For I know, whate’er befall me,
   Jesus doeth all things well;
   For I know, whate’er befall me,
   Jesus doeth all things well.
3. All the way my Savior leads me,
   Cheers each winding path I tread,
   Gives me grace for every trial,
   Feeds me with the living Bread.
   Though my weary steps may falter
   And my soul athirst may be,
   Gushing from the Rock before me,
   Lo! A spring of joy I see;
   Gushing from the Rock before me,
   Lo! A spring of joy I see.
4. All the way my Savior leads me,
   Oh, the fullness of His love!
   Perfect rest to me is promised
   In my Father’s house above.
   When my spirit, clothed immortal,
   Wings its flight to realms of day
   This my song through endless ages:
   Jesus led me all the way;
   This my song through endless ages:
   Jesus led me all the way.

Twenty-two

Time really does go faster the older you get. I think you fit more into that time, though. Maybe using it more is what gives it wings? Wait. This is a blog post, not a soliloquy on time.

Honestly, when I think about the past year the first thing I do is roll my eyes and say, "Boys." My 22nd year started with my roommate getting flowers at work and continued with friends entering relationships, getting engaged, getting married and... all of the drama that sometimes comes before finding the right guy. I have given more guy advice this year than ever before. I don't know if my lack of experience with boys should disqualify me, but it's too late to go back to that now! Things that I might have had head knowledge about before are now made crystal clear through experience. Boys think differently than girls. Age doesn't have anything to do with being a real man. Men and women should communicate with each other rather than make assumptions. (Though I suppose assumptions are good for the counseling business!) I saw the best and worst of guys this year, from guys standing up for their girls in tough situations to the creeps that think it's okay to treat a girl like a plaything.

The other major thing that comes to mind is travel. I did a lot of that as usual, but this year was different because I moved twice and because I travelled by car instead of by plane or bus! I am so thankful for the way God provided for all of this craziness. I miss making the trip between the apartment in Georgia and Bob Jones University, but I'm so glad to be back in Wisconsin! I hope I'll be able to travel a fair amount through my 23rd year as well. I want to visit at least two new states this year. I was thinking Alaska and Hawaii. HA! No, I'll keep it a little more realistic.

This year I learned a lot about myself. Nothing like downtime all by yourself looking for a job for a few months! I realized how out of line my priorities were, mainly my time with God. I also realized just how much I need human interaction. I felt so lost and friendless while I was in Georgia. All I had was Cathy except on my fabulous weekends at BJ. I do not take my friendships for granted anymore. I am so richly blessed in my coworkers and my church family here in Wisconsin.

Stats from the year:

Words... Skimming through my journal (which has an entry for every day of the last year because I finally got more faithful with writing) I think that the most used words (not including names) are:
1. UNFI
2. Shelves (referring both to work and my own personal library)
3. Lunch/Supper
4. Cleaned
5. Home (this word was used to refer to the west in general, the state of Colorado, my parent's house, the state of Wisconsin, my apartment in Wisconsin and my apartment in Georgia.)
6. Watched ... movies, kids, whatever
7. Church
8. Walk/walked
9. Read
10. Work

Music... Based on my Pandora and the play counts on my phone:
1. The Piano Guys
2. Pettit team/Galkin team/Sovereign Grace
3. Mozart
4. Alan Menken
5. The Chords Pandora station

Books... Top three new reads:
1. Jennifer Worth (Call the Midwife etc)
2. Other assorted non-fiction 
3. Harry Potter series

The coming year looks a little scary from where I am right now. There are so many unknowns. But I'm not worried, I'm excited! The one thing that I know is that this chapter of my life will both open and close with a faithful God.